General Chat

Liz my friend it breaks my heart to see you getting treated so bad and as others have said we wish you would leave the i cant put that on here ,but i also know its not easy for you and ive said it before come to me for abreak away from all the anger and nastyness,if i had the money i would pay your fare and when i say this i mean it ,and i would also travel over to you and try and help you sort your house out and i know what you will say say that im not up to it ,but when your friends need you that goes on back burner and you get in touch anytime and i,ll ring you this is the time you need your friends ,take care love speak to you soon
Love Dutchxx
I wish everyone better days ahead
Jean hope things get better for you and not forgetting my pal Caz

Hello all , Dear Liz I hope things are a bit better for you to-day,its damn sad when we women have to put up with constant abuse and you are unable to leave because you are trapped for lack of money. I do feel for you Liz and I hope you win the lotto but if you did ,whilst still living with him he would be entitled to Half, so make sure you tick the box so that your name wont be printed in the paper.

Well we had another heavy frost this morning the bird baths were all frozen and our pond was still frozen when I went and did some gardening at 3 pm, the frost was heavier than yesterday and I thought that was bad, they are predicting snow at the weekend.Brrr,Brrr.
I had another busy day to-day went to the Gym we had a workout on the bycicles then we did circuit work.

A good workout I came home feeling much better, so I washed my floors then polished them, I then cleaned the laundry windows and the last job was to clean the filters in the exhaust over the stove, by that time the sun was dissapearing behind the pine trees next door so I then turned the heating on closed all the blinds then had a nice coffee and 2 toasted sultana bread, after I had finished that I opened my PUTER to talk to you guys. It is now 5-15pm it is still light but very coldas the sun has set..

Mo ,Jean,Sallie Huia & Deborah I read your post I hope you are all well and that it is not too hot for you all, it is such a shame when the weather changes so quickly from so wet & cold then suddenly it heats up the body cant take itand if it is so hot that you cannot sleep you become irritable.I love Autumn it seem to be more stable and you dont have the cold breezes like spring.

Sylvia I am pleased to hear your knee is healing just take care as it is so easy to jar or twist it ,I have a wonky right knee which I often twist, I have to watch it while exercising.

I have to register my car on the 24th of this month which means I will have to take it in and have a new exhaust put on it as it wont pass inspection. Here in NSW all cars over 4 yrs have to have a pink slip to say they are roadworthy , I also have to have a green slip which will cost me over $300 that is for 3rd party insurance, my regestration is covered by the Govenment and when I need a new Licence that is covered by the Gov. also,which I am very thankful for.
I must be off as I am going to Barbara,s For dinner a nice Roast
Love & Hugs to you all Marie

I am so glad you were able to get hold of the son and explain things to him.

I hope that invitation to the housewarming includes me, though I dont know if I will be able to make it :((( Still, we live in hopes.

Huia.

Thanks you lovely friends, I am ok. He was very subdued on Monday and I was very cool with him. My counsellor was lovely, very supportive and I had a good bawl and was lots better. I managed to talk with his son when I was out by phoning him on my mobile and he said how embarrassed he was by his father's actions on the bbq visit and I explained how his dad didn't eat properly for his diabetes so collapsed at the station, as if he was drunk. I emphasised how both boys need to realise what his health is like and what he is like, and that he is working all hours to pay off the mortgage so they can't expect him to pay out all the time especially for the scrounger.
Anyway son rang him later and sorted out a bit more about the other son coming back on his own so he is going to contact him and say they can't afford to pay for both of them to come over.
We will have to see what happens next.

Off to get my vit d jab today and a smear test, way overdue, so hope all is well in that area lol and will catch up with you all later.

I really appreciate the support, one day I might be able to hold a big housewarming party and you can all turn up lol

love
Lizxx

Hi Mo

and everyone


I do hope that this weather warms up soon!!

We had to go see someone downtown this morning, so we took the bus. Both wearing waterproof jackets, and OH was also wearing a sweater!!


I was pleased that my knee held up ......... the tensor (elastic) bandage gives a lot of support, and it isn't hurting. I go to the physio tomorrow morning (Tuesday). We'll see what he says!!



I bottlefed J .......... I wanted to go back to work, and only got 8 weeks off in the dark ages, so it didn't seem worthwhile to breast feed and then change to bottles.

The advantage of that was that OH gave J her very first feed after she came out of 24 hours in Intensive Care (she was a caesarean baby, so was sent there as a precaution). That helped to seal a bond between them that is beautiful to see.

OH started to give her the 6am bottle about 3 days after we got home from the hospital when we realised hat all 3 of us were being awake for much of the night. I never once heard her cry, it was always OH ........ so he'd wake up, then have to wake me, and so it went. I then began staying up so that I could pick her up before she made a noise at 2 am. He did the 6am, and so we both got about 6 hours sleep!!

But I did get her sleeping through the night at about 6 weeks old, before I went back to work.

When she got on more solid food ........ he continued to give her breakfast at about 6 am, which was when he got up anyway. They did that almost every morning until she married and left home at the age of 25!!


We took her camping at about 5 months old ................... I sterilized bottles filled with formula in a pan over the camp stove!



She's still early to bed and early to rise!




s
xxx

Liz could you get some help from your son,to help you clear out some off the things from your own place. Even though it has got no hot water or heating,it has got to be better for you to be away from that bully.
Take your time in clearing away things you don't need,from your place, and then wait for Mr Cheerful to go to work,and clear out your things from his place.
You DO NOT need to suffer his spite love. It's not fair on you,him taking it out on you,when his argument is with his own kids.
Is it your own house/flat, ie have you bought it.
Could you go to the council or some other body to get help with the
heating and water.
PLEASE get some help from someone, we all worry about you.
God bless you. Love Mo xxx

Afternoon Ladies,

Oh Liz, I really feel for you and actually feel a bit guilty when I know that I have a good life and you are out there suffering. But, as you said, if things are kept rfom you it is harder to find out about them until you are so far in that it is difficult to climb out of the situation. My thoughts are with you - very sunny ones today.

I've had a lovely day so far. I met my sister at her allotment early and we did some weeding. The ground is like concrete so tough going, but we managed to find some of the fruit & veg she had planted. For my troubles I got given some rhubarb, courgettes and a bag of fresh peas. None of it will last long when the gannets return home from school & work later today!!!

Then I went to see Mum & Dad and picked a load of raspberries & strawberries with Dad, which was nice. He was a bit down when I got there but picked up once we had strolled around the garden and discussed everything that he had growing.

It was funny reading all your stories about children as babies. My 4 are now 7, 9, 13 & 14. I breast fed all of them for months so never sterilised anything!!!. Not done them any harm, as none of them ever had bottles, so they just went straight onto eating anything and everything they found - including a slug in Matthews case. I managed to get into the garden just in time to see the end of it disappear into his mouth.

I had to have an amnio for both Matthew & Sophie as I got pregnant with each of them when the child before them was only 7 months old. My hormones hadn't settled down and I was still breastfeeding at each time, so much for that being a good contraceptive - we wanted the children close together so it didn't matter at all. So I have 16 months between D & M, then a gap of 4 years and then 16 months between L & S. Just the way things worked out.

We had to wrap the babies very tightly in blankets to put them to bed, but I don't recall which way they had to sleep. But I suppose as they were virtually strapped up then on their backs would have been most comfortable. All 4 of them still to this day like to be completely wrapped up - perhaps it is a comfort thing.

Anyway, better go and do something with all of this fruit, other than to encourage the wasps into the kitchen.

Hope you are all well and coping with the heat.

Debbie xx

Liz, it's just so unfair that you have to put up with his horrible and nasty ways. Yes it would be nice to have a big win on the Lottery, you would then be free of him. If we are lucky enough to have a big win, I'll send you the money so that you can get your house sorted out.

I do feel for you, having to live and put up with someone like him. I'm thinking about you and hoping that things will get better for you, very, very soon. Hope all goes well with the Councsellor today.

Speak to you later.


Love Sallie.xx

Hi Sylvia, not until I can sort out my own place and that will take ages and a fair bit of money. It's just not habitable at the mo, no hot water or heating for the winter, and so full because of my hoarding. I could call the domestic violence people because mental abuse is as bad as violence, but I can't bear the thought of being stuck in a hostel with women with families etc Also I have a lot of stuff here and if I didn't get it all out immediately, and where to?, he would destroy it all despite being told by the domestic violence woman a while back he is not allowed to touch my things, it wouldn't stop him, when his temper goes, it goes with a bang!
He has hurled books out the door before now.

Can't understand why I got things so wrong this time, really thought at first he was a decent sort of chap, but it was all a front and no one told me about the secret drinking and the temper tantrums. He should have been drowned at birth!

A decent lottery win would be my salvation but it just doesn't happen lol

Off now as he will be getting up for work in a mo.
Thanks for the hugs, much appreciated.

love
Lizx

oh Liz

(((((xxxx)))))


I do so wish that you could get away from that guy!


Isn't there any way that you could move out??




sylvia
xxxx

Hi all,

Jean, sorry you are having further problems love, do take care and hope you feel better soon.

Didn't have a good day yesterday, o.h. is in a foul mood, hasn't contacted either son but is taking it out on me so instead of going out I spent the afternoon watching tv as I couldn't stop crying at the foul abuse he spewed out at me, about me and my son, which he does to hurt me. He then slept most of the afternoon as he had been to his dad's earlier, and then woke up and started again. I cooked a meal and he ate that and started shouting at me again, threw the tray and plate at me hitting my leg, and then went to bed. I tried ringing his son on Saturday to talk to him about the argument they had had, all over the son in NY coming over, but he wasn't answering altho I left a message. He texted me late evening to say they had been out and he had forgotten his mobile so I sent a message to say I would talk to him today when he is at work. I shall tell him how his father was to me and say this is getting worse, the way he is rowing with everyone. He is even in a fury about someone cutting a tree down in their garden a few doors up, it was a big oak tree about 30 ft tall and overshadowing a new resident's garden so she must have asked him to chop it down. He even rang the council about it and they said if he liked it so much, he should have asked for a preservation order to be put on it. He is now threatening all sorts at the women, saying he is up before her so I don't know what he plans to do, probably all talk and bluster! He has to do a course for work soon and is saying he doesn't want to do and doesn't see the need for it, thinks he is the boss the way he goes on, and knows it all! I will never know how he keeps his job with the attitude he takes at work. I think it is because he doesn't eat properly for the diabetes that gets him in a mood, his dad only gives him a biscuit or something and then he gets home here and doesn't get anything to eat, or drink, except cider, I noticed he has been buying more cider again which he hides in the garage.

The only person who can't do wrong is the son in NY - he has always been the favourite, blue eyed boy.

Anyway, I am glad I can go to counselling today and talk to her and let it all out, idiot said he is paying for the counselling and nothing is happening, he thinks she is going to magically make me able to sort out my hoarding this soon! Trouble is, the more he is nasty to me the worse I feel and less able to deal with anything. I have many other more pressing things on my mind that just that.

Sorry I can't do any individual messages at the mo, just can't concentrate well
Doesn't mean I don't care tho,
take care all
love
Lizxxx

Hi Linda,

My husband and I were born and brought up in Wales. We moved to Derbyshire 31 years ago, and both our son and daughter were born in Nottingham.

Our son went to University in London, and decided that he wanted to stay down there. He has a flat in Langley, and he worked in Windsor until last December. Looking for another job at the moment, but he's not had any luck so far.

Well, I'm off to bed now.

Love, Sallie.xx

good evening again girls.
I have amended my earlier post, because I think I was being nasty,and for those who have read it,I apologise most sincerely.
Good to see you over on here Linda.
You can be out tutor about the babies of these days,as it is your line off work.
At my first birth,I had no idea of what to expect. Even after attending ante -natal classes,and birthing classes,I was thrown in at the deep end.
After having my daughter,I wondered what that thing was around her belly button. They tied them with elastic bands way back then,and putzac talcum on then to dry them out,ready for them to drop off..
I had never bathed a baby,and nearly drowned her,at my first attempt.
All my baby bottles got sterilised in a big saucepan,on the top of the stove.
They were given baby orange juice from the health center, and were fed on National Dried Baby Milk.
No such things as disposable nappies then. Terry nappies that got boiled in an emamel bucket on the top of the gas rings. Till we managed to buy a Baby Burco boiler.
Lovely coach built prams,built for comfort.
My babies were lain on their side at the time,but things over the years have changed.
And when my grandchidren came along,I was absolutely gob smacked,at all the changes that had happened.
But hey thats progress.
Well my lovelies,I must away to my bed now.
Night Night God Bless you all. I will pray for you all to be feeling better soon.
Love and best wishes. Mo xxx

Hi Sallie
My children were born at Hillingdon Middlesex and the youngest at Heatherwood in Ascot as we were by then living in Windsor. We are now 15 miles from Windsor in Crowthorne. My husband works at Heathrow.

Just wondering where you live roughly?

Linda :o)

Sylvia, it makes me wonder which is really the best way to lay the babies down, as over the years they seem to have different ideas. We always put our two on their side to sleep, but somehow they always seemed to end up on their back.
Sorry you're not having very nice weather there, you are welcome to some of the high temperatures here---I don't like it as hot as it's been tday. Like you, we have a fan in the bedroom, Alun's not by the bothered with the heat at all, but I wouldn't be able to sleep either, if I didn't have the fan.

Nice to see you on here Linda! My children are 28 and 25, so things would have been the same for us, with ante-natal, scans and of course ante-natal classes. How things have changed since our youngest were born. My son lives in Berkshire, just a few miles from Windsor and not far from Heathrow.

Love to you all. Sallie.xxx

Hi Sylvia
My cousins are in Canada and have said the weather is not good.

Talking of the babies:- mine are now 31, 29 and 25 we slept ours on their tummies, to prevent them from choking on any sick !!
Now babies are only put down on their backs , to prevent cot deaths there is a new problem showing up.............. it is called flat head syndrome. They have an issue with the skull not developing properly as some baies do not move therefore their head is always in one position.

Always something to think of with the little ones.

Regards Linda :o)

Hi Mo and everyone


please send some of that heat over here!!

It's grey, showery, and about 15C outside. Not like summer at all!


We are however well prepared for when the hot weather does come ...... we bought 2 more fans yesterday!! The one that I have had in this room for the last couple of years didn't work when OH brought it upstairs on Thursday, and he couldn't find out why not. So we bought a new pedestal one, plus a slim-line floor standing one to go into a room that doesn't have much floor space or tabletop space.

I couldn't sleep in the summer without having the fan on in the bedroom!!


Oh, another one re babies

When I had J, we were told to put the baby down on a different side each time, so the head bones didn't get malformed. NOW ................... J tells me the baby is ONLY put down flat on his back, never on the side or front.

MJ doesn't really like being on his back when falling asleep ....... but the powers-that-be say that statistical evidence shows there is less chance of a baby dying of SIDS when lying on its back than on any other side, so baby has to lie on his back!



s
xx

Hi all, I am back.
My goodness it's been so hot and humid today here. The temperature went up to 31.
See Marie,we are never happy,it's either to hot or to cold.

Jean, Sallie, Marie, Liz,Huia,
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make you all better.
Depression is a right Bu**er to beat. It's a daily battle to beat it,I know speaking from past experiences.
I take my happy tablet each morning,and plod along.

I have been up to the club today with Roly. So now I have had a nice cooling bath,and am sitting here in my pjamas, ooh luxury,no tight clothes on to make me sweat even more.

Time for a refreshing cuppa me thinks.
See you all soon. Love to you all Moxxx

Hello Girls,

Marie, you never know, but some time in the future your son might be in touch with you again. I really hope he does, I'm sure whatever it was about, it's now all water under the bridge. Life is too short to carry a grudge against someone, so maybe he'll realise it, one day.
You have been busy doing your extra chores, but as you say it's too cold and miserable to go out, unless you have to.
When is your next grandchild due? Even though it will be your twelfth, I bet you can't wait for it to arrive. Good luck and hope it all goes well for them.
Alun has the England and Germany match on, he's shouting at the TV, I think he hopes England can hear him and do what he's saying, lol.
Thank you for asking about the dep. Most of the time I'm okay, but I still have some bad days, although not as bad as they were a few months back. So it's slowly getting better, thank goodness.

Jean, I'm sorry to hear that the vertigo has come back, it's so maddening, when we get rid of one thing , something else comes along. I think things tend to happen that way, I know from my own experience. I won't start telling you what, because it would take far too long, and I wouldn't want to bore you all. Also wouldn't want to drive you all away from this thread,lol.
I hope both J and D are okay, and that they don't mind this hot weather.
We nipped up to Dunelm after our lunch, I only wanted some peel offs and Alun wanted some thick card for his layout. I was glad to get back home and put the fan on, it's much too hot for me.
Good luck with doing your Parchment when you feel better. I haven't done anymore since, as I've been making cards for the church that my bother is the vicar of.

I'll look in again later on today.

Love to you all. Sallie.xx

Hi Marie, you know we are always here for you I know my e-mails dont get through to you, but I never stop thinking about you... take care lovely lady...
Sallie, sorry I havent been back to you, now the dreaded vertigo has raised its ugly head again, sruggle to write on here but you have all been so kind to me, Ifelt I must try , btw, I found my parchmet stuff and all my tools to do it so hopefully I will be able to have a go when this lot clears up....
love to everyone,, hope to be back soon.

love Jean xx