Genealogy Chat

Following on from Joys thread regarding cencus closure, we discovered that my mother was conceived out of wedlock, as was my grandmother. Unlike others in their 80s, my mother found this information hilarious..........................mainly because she remembers my grandmother telling me when I was a teenager, that they didnt do things like that in her day.

So far in my tree half my mums family seem to have married the same month they gave birth lol, half my dads lot were married months or years after thier first or sometimes second child lol kim

That's a relief! because some might have been ashamed. phew! :-) Joy

Seems to me if I worried about disclosure of that fact I would have to alter half the birth/marriage dates in my family. Must admit though, I did have a grandaunt that I protected a bit from sensitive info - then after she died I found her marriage certificate in the family bible - she wasn't my old maid music teacher grandaunt after all!!! sly little devil. Had her own secrets so she did. Oh well makes it all interesting. cheers Laurie

Since i have been doing this search, my oldest sister has made comments that secrets should remain so, and if my mother wanted to disclose the fact she was born out of wedlock and adopted by her natural father and his wife she would of done so. Ha!!!! As i told her my mother told me a lot as the youngest child i was around her more, I also have a very good memory(and big ears)nothing i have discovered so far has surprised my sister and it annoys me the only one keeping secrets is her, (from me and my other sister) my mother died when i was 13yrs old and i know had she lived till i got to my curious age 40+ i would not have to go searching,I just hope to find a big rich relative and then i will keep the secrets......MOE!

I have found out that all my aunts and uncles on my mothers side were born out of wedlock and even had one uncle that had no father on his birth cert at all... they have all passed on... but if you have older people still alive, then just tread gently and see how the land lies before approaching the subject. Good luck. Anne :)

Lots of mine seem to almost have given birth before they managed to walk back down the aisle. The only advice my mother ever gave me was 'Every woman should have at least two men on the go at once. Then if you lose one, you always have one left!! The mind boggles.

Totally agree with you Christopher... lots of secrets that have brought distress to one or 2 of my living family since I started doing this tree.... other members started searching themselves after me and came up with all sorts of things which left me 'gobsmacked'!! Anne :)

My dad , at the ripe old age of nearly 75 still shops for my mums great uncle, every friday. Dad told me the name of G Uncles Mother and all about her , but said little about his dad. Looking closely , checking again and AGAIN because i wanted to be sure, it transpires that G Uncle was born to his mother and Father 4 YEARS after his 'Dad' Died. ''Tell her not to be so B***dy stupid'' says the old boy. If he don't know at 80 i Guess it wont hurt him!! Interestingly his second name is the surname of her employer in 1901.... I wonder...(slap hand...!) Jess

I found out at my Nan's wake that Aunty Flo never married Uncle Jim and that Uncle Jim had run off from his wife and children in the night to be with 'Aunty' Flo! There i was, reeling from burying my Nan, and all of this comes out! Seems like it ran in the family tho.... my GG Grandfather had an affair with his servant and got her pregnant! must be something in the Genes!!!! c x

This rings a bell with me also my grandparentson one side weren't married till 15yrs after there first was born. the other side was very close to giving birth at time of marriage. there are quite a lot of those in both sides and some illegitamate. Have several older reletives who tried to hide things and won't talk to me. but I now don't mind i'll still keep going thankfully not all against me. Josephine

My Father was illegitimate - apparently his Father was a local man but didn't want to know when my Grandmother became pregant - this was in the 1930's and it was still taboo then and she allegedly claimed that it was a Virgin Birth!! The thing is everybody new about it and it's never been a big secret. I don't think these things necessarily need to be kept secret, but feelings do need to be considered - my Father has absolutely no interest in his Father or possible siblings etc. and I am absolutely eaten up with curiosity, but I have respect for my Father's feelings and will let the matter lie. It's funny how people commonly think that these things didn't happen as much as they do today - my tree is full of skeletons! Kaye x

I've been amazed at the number of 'premature' babies that appear in my tree. It's almost rare to find a couple who didn't have a baby on the way when they married! I didn't expect to find anything like this, and it has raised a smile amongst all the family.

It was while my uncle was sorting through his recently deceased father's papers that he came across a record of his parents' blood groups and realised (he's a medic) that he couldn't possibly have been his father's son. It caused no end of trouble, especially when he found out that his sisters already suspected as much. But my nan (his mother) was absolutely puritanical about sex - inside or outside of marriage!!! My mum was pregnant before marriage and my nan threw her out! Talk about hypocritical! On a lighter note (?) I discovered that on my mum's side, a great great uncle had 5 children by his neice - that gave my mum a bit of a turn! lol! Bev

My mum was the youngest of 6 children, and for the first few years of her life thought her surname was the same as theirs. As it turned out when she went to school she discovered her father was only her dad and the other five siblings were by her mum's first husband. No shameful secrets there then. BUT My grandmother was a bit of a snob and one for keeping up appearances. When a few years later my mum became pregnant at the age of 18 my nan went mad, and refused to attend my mum's wedding and had very little to do with her for a number of years. Friends and family were told that the baby my mum had (me) was 'premature' (by about 3 months!). I know that my mum was very hurt by her parent's attitude to her marriage and it was only in later life that things between her and her mother finally thawed. When my mum was clearing out my nan's things after her death she came across her mother's marriage certificate and guess what, my nan didn't marry for the second time until 1954, 32 years after my mum was born! My grandad was married to somebody else all those years and it was only after she died that he was free to marry!