Genealogy Chat

Hi, Brenda has very kindly found someone who could possibly be related to my MIL. I have found the same person on here, do i make contact with that person? They dont appear to have any of the same names as i do so it could be a red herring, so speaking to her could rule her out. But i also dont want to cause any upset in the process.

Robyne, I think the fact that this person has put details on here implies the fact that they would like to be contacted. Go ahead - do it ! Dea

ok but im going to blame you if it all goes wrong!!!

Why should there be a problem/any upset? If they are wanting to trace their family tree and you and she are connected, then she will be pleased. If not, you've lost nothing! nell

Hi Robyne I would contact her/him. If she doesnt want to know then she/he will just say there is no connection anyway, wont she/he? If you dont then you will spend the rest of your time wondering what if. Vikki xx

Hi Robyne Go for it, If you don't you may be dissapointed. Good luck. Rosemary

I would try -- and I agree with others, you might always wonder 'what if' if you don't try to contact them. Best of luck, Lisa.

I have contacted her to see. The reason i dont want to cause a problem is because she could possibly be my MIL half-sister and she may have never known about my MIL and i dont want to upset her in doing that. I havent told her the link, just that i have the same name with the fathers name and hope that she gets back to me

Have you talked to your MIL? Perhaps you could see if she is comfortable with establishing contact if there truly is a connection? I'm sure others will be able to offer even better solutions.

Hi, yes ive spoke to my MIL and she is fine. Its the other person that im worried about (sorry didnt make that very clear at all, was too busy trying to remember to avoid names!!). my MIL is quite keen to know if she has any brothers or sisters as she grew up without any, and i think its always been something she has thought of. As an afterthought, i have emailed a couple of other people who i am convinced is a link to my tree. They havent got back to me, so is it possible they may not have renewed their subscription and not be able to contact me back. Should i send them my email address, or would that seem too needy?

just go for it what is the worst that can happen ?? I have contacted some long lost family and am so pleased I did we see each other and talk on the phone a lot now.

Hi Robyn I would still go for it hun. I am in a situation where I have never known my birth fahter and I know I possibly have half brothers and sisters out there too. I have never met any of them including my birth father. I would love to - they live in the same town as me but he has never made any effort. I know this because he knows my sister and my Dad (the one who brought me up and consider my 'true Dad'), as well as my mother (whom I choose not to have any contact with). I dont dig too deep as I dont want to upset my 'true Dad', but there is a part of me that needs to know. So again I say go for it. And the very best of luck. Vikki xx

Hi Robyne. Actually, you explained the situation very well; I just thought if your MIL is ok with this, that's half the battle. Something to think about: if the contact has been researching for a while, she could be used to family secrets. Granted, they are probably secrets from long ago, but she might be more prepared for 'this' than just someone you discovered another way. I don't know about non-members receiving emails, perhaps someone else will let us know. Personally, I've had quite a few computer problems and every once in a while my mum says she didn't receive an email. I guess it's worth a try to give them your address. My dad was ill last year and passed away several months later -- I remember opening mail, and usually answering it, but I didn't do anything with genealogy for a while. I always think of that when I expect something and don't receive it -- others may have difficult times in their lives. Hope things work out for you, Lisa.

well i emailed the person who i thought could be related and it turns out they def are. Both have a dad who was called something else completely different! I hope i didnt shock her too much, just emailed her back to say what the link was and that if she wanted to take it further to email me. I didnt want to blow her mind too early, seems like my MIL had a sister after all! I have to say a massive massive thanks to BRENDA, as she found me this person and she has no idea how much this will affect our lives!!!!

Hi Congratulations Robyn. Hope it all works out for the good for you both. Vikki xx