Genealogy Chat

Hi, Sent you a PM. Sheila

Hi Paul,i was adopted in the 60's,kept thinking maybe one day,then last year finally decided to do something about it. Not quite sure why,it all coincided with a house move so maybe a strange time to start,BM died many years ago,but have half siblings ,some want to know,some don't seem quite so keen. That house move (300 miles or so) has brought me to within 10 miles of ggg grandparents and links to Australia. Pete in Glos,how are you?Finally found the answer to the Lincoln Maternity Hospital query. Glen

Thanks everyone for your responses. Sheila, yes I do have a vested interest so to speak, but not one Ican really talk about on the boards. Sorry for the secrecy !

Hi Paul, As you may have seen from the boards quite a lot of us opt to search for Birth parents. If you look at the staticstics there was a big boom in adoptions after the war and in the 60's. The majority of the people I have come across searching, are in their 30 and 40's although there are always exceptions, and the statistics show quite often a life changing event eg. birth of their own children, loss of an adoptive parent can trigger the need for the search. That said I would advise anyone, to only ever undertake the search when they are ready, as it can be a hell of a roller-coaster for all involved, and not to do because the are urged by friends or family members etc, who cannot understand their lack of curiosity. Whether you need counselling is a private matter, although I find it quite ironic when it is the pre 1975 adoptees who need counselling (these in my mind, have had a hell of a lot more time to make the deciscion to do the search, and are probably a lot more aware of the of the consequences of their actions, rather than a young person, who in the vigours of youth may see an idealistic re-union). Whether it will turn out well, thats like the roll of a dice, I know many that have a great relationship with birth familys now, but also know some rejections.(did you know Norcap have a group specially for rejected adoptees?). That said most people do seem to be glad they did the search, and had some sort of closure, on the questions they had. Hope this helps, Paul was there anything specific you where curious about? Sheila

Hi Paul, Found my birth parents 3 years ago. Found the whole experience far more traumatic than I ever expected, but I am glad I did it none-the-less. Still keep in touch with both of them, and their families, but don't see them as my family as such. My Mum (adoptive) is my 'real' Mum, and the same with my dear late Dad. Liz x

looked and found , father dead, mother very much alive.Birth siblings too, found most (there were quite a few, one dead,) Mother did the classic''Oh how wonderful, so glad you found me'' , met me, then wrote horrid letter saying 'no more,ever'' Que sera sera, cant change it,have to live with it. Alice

Paul Stick 'Hints and Hugs' into the search box on here and you will find Jess's thread for Adoptees. Hope it helps. Chris

Paul - slight twist on the theme.....my birth sister traced me!!! 2 years ago in February.......had a couple of conversations with my birth father on the phone, but unfortunately my birth mother died in 1995. Mine has been a good experience and if you would like further details for your relevant research dont hesitate to ask me! jill x

of course, that is another possibility

Not forgetting of course that there are people who go looking for birth parents,having never met them,but are not adopted ,but born as the result of an affair/lovechild scenario.

Peter, no I'm just seeing how the other half lives lol Thanks for your replies, interesting reading

Paul, What are you doing here? Banned from the general board? Seriously, I am an adoptive father of two boys. Neither will need to use this type of facility to trace their past as they both are fully aware of their circumstances. One of them is listed here , (not by me) in his birth name however, and in 4 in months time when he is 16 years old I intend to show him the entry. He cn then decide if he wants to do anything about it. Being a smartassed 15 year old he's probably hacked the PC already. Pete

Hi Paul, I'm adopted and I wasn't really bothered about sercahing until 3 years ago when I had breast cancer - and needed to know more about my medical history. Up until then I kind of thought it would be nice to say thank you etc etc but nothing else. I went through the proper channels and recieved my birth certificate via the socail worker. No dad's name (but wasn't expecting that anyway) but a number crossed out. I had a hunch that might have been her age - went on Friends R and two emails later had found my b'mum!!!!! We have been in regular email contact (3 -4 times a week each way for 2 1/2 years now. Like some others in the adoption discussions she too had put the 'given her up to have a better life bit' in the papers. She was given a sheet to copy from for that bit! Parental force insisted that she gave me up and she has born that nugget of shame ever since.................. 50 years next week. No we haven't met face to face - and I am not sure that we need to or will --- oh and my cancer doesn't appear to be hereditary. Not sure if this helps. Sarah

Hi all, Just wondered, of those of you who were adopted, how many of you have chosen to look for your birth parents ? I'm not adopted myself, but there is a relevance to my question. Paul (a serious question from me for a change eh ?)