Genealogy Chat

I don't think there is a standard reply you can use. I think you are all correct in being sensible. I only open trees once a person has said he or she is the cousin of... or the ancestor of.... and then I am pretty flexible.

I might be very naive, but if a person sounds nice and genuine, I am more likely to open my tree than if they sound demanding. Most of your tree is in the public domain anyway, so assuming you have no living relatives showing, it shouldn't really matter who you open it to.

Margaret

Astra - I got a message from a person who is so distantly related it wasn't worth the bother really. I gave him access to my tree for a while, then he wrote and said he wanted copies of 'all documents pertaining to this family'.

I should cocoa.

Birdi

I received on not long ago and all it said was "Tell me everything you know".
Mmmm.....................where to start!

I don't mind if people do it all wrong - I posted on all the boards when I started, sent unnecessary PM's, didn't check my threads, you name it. What I object to is the lack of even a please or thank-you.
Jan

I'm not sure new members do trundle around the boards. I certainly didn't for at least 2 years and I know many of the members I have been in contact with don't bother with them either.

If someone sends me a "pre-recorded" message I don't bite their head off either. I find that by going back asking politely what their interest is and asking how they might be connected produces the best results. Hopefully next time they will feel encouraged to have a try, and not feel put off.

Yes, but, when you join a new site - apart from reading anything that says "read me" you trundle around the boards and check out how the thing works - don't you? You don't just dive in feet first and slap a question anywhere (without any info and with no capitals and with a smattering of txt talk) do you?

Perhaps I'm getting old ...

Jill

Hi all,

It has been said many times before that the instructions for using this site are terrible so it's probably no surprise that many newbies get it wrong.
Click on "How can the Genes community help me?" and it doesn't actually tell you very much so is it any wonder that people just blunder in.

What struck me is that GR must be one of the few sites where everyone pays a fee to go online and help other people who have paid a fee!

Amazing............

Freewheel

I get the same thing!

I think I really need to develop a standard reply to such pms, save it, and then just re-post it again and again! Might be a bit easier on the brain.



sylvia

I often get this after I've helped someone with info - they seem to think that info is provided only by people who are directly connected!

Helen,
Yes that is what I have done, so will now wait for reply!1

Jean, I'm with you on this one. I tend to go back and say something like "please can you tell me how you are connected to person x" and if I'm feeling particularly snippy (depends on the sleep deprivation) I have been know to add "and a please or thank you wouldn't go amiss" - I did this once and the person came back with a very abrupt explanation of how we were connected and still no please or thank you, so then I did delete. Helen

1)No it wasn't the wrong button my name has been used & the name of my rellie

2)Yes maybe but even when I was a new member I never requested to view a tree unles I explained

Possibly because they are a new member and believe this is the way in which the site operates?

LOL

I think they just hit the wrong button sometimes. I must admit I just delete messages like that as if it's too much of an effort for them to give me a clue at least, then it will be too much of an effort for them to answer any questions or respond to my e-mails!

Jill

I have just had a request from someone asking to veiw my tree, no reason given just "can I view your tree " access has been given to me to view all 44 people on her tree of which none of them appear to have any connection to me & don't even come from the same part of the country,